Dont let memories go;

Wow, the line was LONNGGGG.
But we were a little early so it doesnt matter (:
These girls had Tom and Bill blankets.
I wanted them sooo bad.
It was cold! I hate out door malls D:
I waited like 3 hours.
The girl behind me was coool, shes a sixth grader, her name is Allison, her mom and dad are DOPE!
They took her to germany, chicago and etc, to see TH!
Thats because they loved them before her, haha.
Yea, im meeting up with them tommorow for the concert at the avalon.
Anywayssss, allison and i were NERVOUS!
Then there was a grip of camera men *cough*  <--yea, i counted.
And i think maybe they are posting the videos they recorder on eith Tokio Hotels Myspace, Site, DVD. or for Tokio Hotel TV.
Again. When we got in i was all "Oh my god I see TOM!" Cos i saw his brown LA hat which was tyte, and then "OMG THERES BILL!" With his big hair, haha, and then i was just saying "Oh my god" over and over and sang along with Sacred which they had playing to calm myself, but when i got to the table i almost hypervenilated. Bill looked up and smiled his cheeky smile at me and said "Hallo, how are you?" with his accent and shook my hand, and I was speechless and all i got out was "H- hi Bill." and my voice cracked and he signed my cd cover, and gave it to tom who gave his cutelittle gangster nod and actually friggin said "yo" and  gave it to Georg who gave it to Gustav, and Gustav handed it to me and hugged me and I was back to saying "Oh my god, thank you all SO much" and the lady working there (who was rad because she had a MSI shirt on) was all "come on honey, dont cry" and I was all "Oh my god, i- cant." and I started crying and then her and the other workes ANDDDD the band said "Awww" and the camera guy recorded me crying and clutching my autograph and then 3 more came and recorded me and allison hugging and crying together, We were the only ones who did!
And Ifelt so embarassed because i pray to god that they do/dont (im still not sure whther i want it or not) to be put on the TH tv//DVD. And i gave Allisons mom my numero so we can meet up tommorow :]]]

Ill have a few pics up soon.

Growl. Does anyone else hate when you do your best and god damned hardest to keep someone you love so much happy and keep them form wanted to hurt themself? okay so thats the deal with me and my bestfriends. i help them out so much and tell them if they go- i go, and i know they dont want that. One tried to OD and i caught her in time before she took them, the other just keeps repeating she wants to kill herself and stuff, and the next thing i know, THE THANKS I GET FOR HELPING THEM is a one of them going around talking shit about me and telling people IM A SLUT when really SHES THE ONE WHO DANGLES ALL OVER GUYS AND IS AN ATTENTION WHORE! We all knew it, but held our tongues and it pisses me off she would do this after i try helping her. AND THEN SHE HAS THE NERVE to go around saying that i was shoving her around when SHE STARTED IT AND I ENDED IT DOING IT HARDER THEN SHE DID! OH AND GET THIS! Her family thinks im a crack head because her and her brother told them that my cousin who used to live with me was... WTF! She is ready to get her ass beat.
I told her if she ever needed me i got her back.
i told her that Dont Jump was both our song because i was a depressent about 2 years ago and such, and when we felt down wed sing it!
and always when we got to ' ill jump for you' we'd entwined our pinkys together as a promise, shes been my fucking friend for 9 years and she pays me back like this.

our friend ship is dead.
and no one can bring us back together,
no matter how many people tried.
its over.

I feel so terrible.
My great grandfather, i was so close to him whenever I was with him.
He passed away last night from a heart attack.
Hes been having heart problems for the past 2 1/2 months.
I shouldve visit him.
I didnt get to say goodbye.
He was so important to me, so important.
He really brought my mood up when i was sad.
Played with me when I was a child.
He always taught me valuable life lessons and did the things he did.
I miss him so much and now hes gone.
I never called him during these 2 months and now look what happened;
hes gone, and i never got to say goodbye.
Hopefully he is in a better place now where god can watch over him.
I loved him so much.
Rest In Peace Grandpa Mike/
<3